This parody It is based on the ancient and still popular Christmas Carol "I saw Three Ships". The tune is from a traditional English folk song and the words were written and sung by wandering minstrels as they travelled through the winter country earning a precarious living by, literally, singing for their supper. The Three Ships are the vessels carrying the skulls of the Three Wise Men (the Magi) to be put on display and revered as holy relics in Cologne Cathedral in the year 1164. For 900 years before that they had been kept in Constantinople and Milan.
The Openreach Carol: A traditional roundelay of as many verses as you can stomach.
(To be sung resignedly and with considerable feeling)
I saw three trucks go rolling by
On Broadband Day, on Broadband Day,
I saw three trucks go grinding by,
On Broadband Day in the morning.
And what was on those those trucks, all three
On Broadband Day, on Broadband Day?
And what was on those trucks, all three,
On Broadband Day in the morning?
"Openreach" was painted there,
On Broadband Day, on Broadband Day,
"Openreach" was blazoned there,
On Broadband Day in the morning.
And whither rolled those trucks all three,
On Broadband Day, on Broadband Day?
That drove past me, that drove round we,
On Broadband Day in the morning.
And I cried out,"You're twelve months late",
For Broadband Day, For Broadband Day".
And I cried out, "You're twelve months late"
It's Christmas Day in the morning."
The driver smirked and tipped a wink
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
The driver smiled and tipped a wink
On Christmas Day in the morning.
And waved a paper in the air,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Said, "Come on mate, now do be fair,
On Christmas Day in the morning."
"I've got a list, you're on a list",
For Broadband Day, for Broadband Day.
I've got a list, you're on a list,
For Broadband Day one morning".
"It says we could be back quite soon,
Late at night or perhaps in the afternoon,
It says we should be back quite soon….
Next Christmas Day in the morning."
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