In the late 19th century Victorians used to worry about bicycles and the morals of those using them. If young men and ladies were afforded independent mobility, who knew where it would lead?  Well now we have our answer. It lead in stages to the smartphone, sexting and Ashley Madison.

I know!  It’s a cheap trick. Put sex in the headline and a bit more in the intro…   can’t fail.  But after all, here you are!  Reading it!

Ashley Madison, the global contact site for adultery, says Samsung smarties are the weapon of choice for British adulterers. Fifty four per cent of the men and 48 per cent of the women signed up to Ashley Madison were apparently Samsung users.  We don’t know what it says about Samsung, nor what it says about iPhone users - male and female - who are way down in the rankings at 24 per cent and 28 per cent respectively.

Oh, hang on. Yes we do. Those numbers look pretty close to the Apple/Samsung smartphone market shares, so it doesn’t actually mean anything except that cheating is widespread amongst all the texting classes.

Makes sense that the smartphone is implicated though, just as the bicycle was 100 years ago. Sexting, says Ashley Madison, is particularly prevalent amongst people having affairs, in part as an alternative to meeting up. The smartphone is also a pretty private resource, so less chance that a suspicious partner could swoop in and find evidence of an affair, especially with apps like Snapchat, which send self-destructing messages.

And then, oh dear, there’s the camera. Smartphones, we’re told unnecessarily, are increasingly used for taking sex selfies. Apparently 71 per cent of the Ashleys and 69 per cent (no, surely not 69, they’re making it up - Ed), of the Madisons have done this.

And apparently (one last factette) men are most likely to sext from work (36 per cent) and women from the supermarket (31 per cent). Supermarket! Witnessing a shopping-laden woman answering a text will never be the same again.